Friday, July 23, 2010

To beard or not to beard... or something...

The big news in facial hair this week:  Brad Pitt has shorn off his long grey, often beaded and totally scraggly beard!  He showed off his liberated chin at the premiere for a movie called "Salt" in which his wife-lady does a whole bunch of stunty things and wears some wigs.

They look fan friggen tastic, even if, in my opinion, Angie could gain 10 or 20 lbs and look less skeletal.  Honestly I think she's gorgeous but just too thin.  Them six kids must be running her ragged.  Listen, Jolie-Pitt younguns: let Mom eat!!!

But I digress.  Beards.  Love em or hate em?

I must be honest.  I like beards.  Maybe it's because I grew up with a Dad who always had a beard, and it looks normal to me.  I'm pretty sure if I was a dude I'd beard it up regularly.  I'd try em all - the goatee, the Amish chin beard, even the currently unfashionable moustache.

 I'd grow it long and braid it.  I mean, why not have fun with your facial hair?

I'm in the minority though, because all over the interwebs, poor ol' Brad was scolded for having that thing on his face.

Look, I get it.  He's so handsome, why should he cover his good looks?  (And if we're keeping track, I LOVE his crow's feet and I'm so grateful he's letting himself age.  I think he keeps getting more interesting and better looking.)  Has it occurred to anybody just how difficult it must be for handsome men to face the world every day?  Why can't handsome men be loved for their personalities instead of just their handsome faces?

   Love me for my brains!!!!!!!

Besides this is not the first time Brad's tried out the beard.  He grows a pretty serious face crop.

Well, you know me.  I like em pretty and scruffy.  Impeccably groomed men make me... nervous.  I like pre-mussed.  I like some imperfection with perfection.  Like, since perfection is a lie anyways.  I like men who are real and aren't afraid to let a bit of stubble show or get the hair messed up.

Not everybody feels that way!  Johnny got his fair share of criticism that year he walked around with his Captain Jack beardling going on, but Brad has just been raked over the coals!  

Everybody was all, "Who the hell does Brad Pitt think he is?  Brad Sparrow? Get that thing off your face!"

And Captain Jack was all, "That's CAPTAIN Brad Sparrow to you, dahling!"

People seem to forget that Brad was rocking the beard beads, like, ten years ago, back when he was Mr Jennifer Aniston and she barely tolerated his dirty hippy look.  He even had little silver bells knotted into his chin fur, although I couldn't find a pic of it. 

Yeah.  I don't think she liked it much.

But he's appeared in public all baby faced again, and Angelina is smiling and Brad is doing his Bradthing and the angels are singing.  

Oh my gosh, who knew shaving could bring this kind of happiness????

From Scruffy to full on Skeevy?  Still pretty underneath it all?  Jethro's beard used to be black.  Now it's silver.  Pretty!


jules said...

I like Johnny with some scruff, Brad...not so much.

Biddie said...

Brad with scruff? Yuck. I don't like it on his face or hanging off his arm.

Heidi the Hick said...

Jules, I KNOW! Why is that???

He really does look skeevy, I gotta admit.

Bid - hee hee hee! Friggin brilliant!

Paul Tee said...

Well, I don't know. Brad with a beard looks like the ex-president of the Bandidos, worn down by hard living. I would not be surprised if he had prison tattoos etched into his skin and a rap sheet someplace. Maybe he had been a guest of the state in some previous life. Who knows?

Gussied up on the other hand, he looks like a product with shelf-life expiring. He has maybe five year left before becoming a character actor.

Don't get me wrong, I like character, the kind that gets written onto a face, the kind that makes me believe that he truly has something to say (not just regurgitating a script). When the packaging becomes the real thing. But maybe I'm expecting too much. Brad & co. live in a very rarefied atmosphere, where little is real.

Then again maybe I'm not real. Maybe we were all meant to have that sort of life. Fast cars in the fast lane, burning up our one life. I just dunno ...

Come to think of it, how hard is prison life ... when Conrad Black just walks out and away... as fresh as the day he went in.

dilling said...

brad? ewwwwwwwww. hairy or not.
johnny? any way i can get him.
mostly i have always been attracted to clean cut faces but just lately, something seems to be changing

Heidi the Hick said...

Hmmm... Paul has a beard, right?

Dilling- thought of you when I wrote this! I was hoping you'd pop in and say, "No Brad, ever!" Gotta balance things out. (And my husband waves and says hi!)

dilling said...

hey!!!!! trying to email you a photo and both addresses i have keep sending it back!!! what gives?
also? i still sneak around and linger but have so little to say out loud right now..but believe me when i say i think it's all coming soon ;)

dilling said...

and a wavey hand back to your hubbie!

dilling said...

and? may i reiterate? brad? ewwwwww.

Heidi Willis said...

not all beards are created equal. Brad's looked like he hadn't trimmed, combed, or washed his in ten years. And the grey did nothing to him. It made him look like more like someone sleeping in a dumpster than distinguished gentleman.

Just my opinion, though.

And I love Johnny's.